will trade sex for new lingerie
sometimes i wonder what i'm doing. i gave up such an easy life. i wouldn't have had to worry about a thing. well other than spending the rest of my life with someone i wasn't in love with.
i had a dream last night i was in one of those high end lingerie stores. i was looking at a bra for $250..lol. my kid's dad used to buy me stuff like that. it was nice, i miss it.
i think i would have gone nuts a long time ago if not for one of my bestfriends. she left a guy with 50 times more money than my kid's dad. i used to think if she can do it, i can do it.
she often jokes with me that we should go back to these men and spend our weekends in vegas together. she gets tired of it all like me sometimes and thinks about going back but i don't think either one of us would.
i couldn't have done all this without her. it's nice to have someone in my life that understands how it sux that water and ice don't come outta my fridge anymore..f*ck ice cube trays..sheeesh..i threw those away years ago and buying my panties at Walmart..good grief..and having to pay bills and cook and clean house..
i've been waited on hand and foot for years. i can't imagine what makes me think i could be anyone's slave..sexual slave yea..hell, i've more or less been that my whole life..but beyond that..?
get me a cook and a house keeper and i'll do anything You want..lol.
i guess i'm lucky to have had so many years of only having to get up and worry about working out and staying in shape and when and where i was going to meet my current lover.
that's not really true you know. i had to give up a lot for that life. i was a slave to my extended family and their control. they loved me, still do, very much. i don't doubt that, but..but what? i dunno, hard to sum it up in one sentence. they weren't evil. they were just needy and met their needs by placing certain demands on the people in their lives and if those needs weren't met you were punished emotionally. it's all i've ever known.
..and they wonder why all the men in my life were the same way.
i think that was one of the many aspects of D/s that attracted me, if you did something wrong there were specific consequences. you get disciplined physically in some way and then it's over and done with and the slate is wiped clean. none of that emotional childish game playing and abuse and abandonment that could go on indefinately. the same issue thrown in your face for years.
clear cut expectations and consequences. not knowing how severe those consequences might be was half the thrill and excitement.
man i need to sleep in one of these mornings and cut out all this thinking. i need someone laying next to me...
i had a dream last night i was in one of those high end lingerie stores. i was looking at a bra for $250..lol. my kid's dad used to buy me stuff like that. it was nice, i miss it.
i think i would have gone nuts a long time ago if not for one of my bestfriends. she left a guy with 50 times more money than my kid's dad. i used to think if she can do it, i can do it.
she often jokes with me that we should go back to these men and spend our weekends in vegas together. she gets tired of it all like me sometimes and thinks about going back but i don't think either one of us would.
i couldn't have done all this without her. it's nice to have someone in my life that understands how it sux that water and ice don't come outta my fridge anymore..f*ck ice cube trays..sheeesh..i threw those away years ago and buying my panties at Walmart..good grief..and having to pay bills and cook and clean house..
i've been waited on hand and foot for years. i can't imagine what makes me think i could be anyone's slave..sexual slave yea..hell, i've more or less been that my whole life..but beyond that..?
get me a cook and a house keeper and i'll do anything You want..lol.
i guess i'm lucky to have had so many years of only having to get up and worry about working out and staying in shape and when and where i was going to meet my current lover.
that's not really true you know. i had to give up a lot for that life. i was a slave to my extended family and their control. they loved me, still do, very much. i don't doubt that, but..but what? i dunno, hard to sum it up in one sentence. they weren't evil. they were just needy and met their needs by placing certain demands on the people in their lives and if those needs weren't met you were punished emotionally. it's all i've ever known.
..and they wonder why all the men in my life were the same way.
i think that was one of the many aspects of D/s that attracted me, if you did something wrong there were specific consequences. you get disciplined physically in some way and then it's over and done with and the slate is wiped clean. none of that emotional childish game playing and abuse and abandonment that could go on indefinately. the same issue thrown in your face for years.
clear cut expectations and consequences. not knowing how severe those consequences might be was half the thrill and excitement.
man i need to sleep in one of these mornings and cut out all this thinking. i need someone laying next to me...
posted by masters_lil_slutty_grl at 7:12 AM
1 Comments:
LOL..yea no doubt there's a few would agree with ya there. i shoulda started this months ago when i was still f*cking 3 guys a day. :P
doesn't seem to matter what i do these days nothing seems to workout even when i want it to. pretty f*ckin weird if you ask me. will have to ask my sponsor to back off on the prayin she does for me.
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