...i am NEVER having unprotected sex again...
..i woke up the other morning and i'm so sore i start thinking...omg i've got herpes!!...i try not to think about it...end up phoning the STD clinic...nurse is busy so i can't talk to her...couple hours later i'm even more sore and i'm thinking...ok i REALLY do have herpes..and what a f*cking IDIOT i am for having unprotected sex with a couple of the guys i was with....like how NOT worth it..not that i had much choice with 2 out of 4 cause they were Dom and forced me...f*cking jerkoffs..the other two couldn't get a hardon with a condom on which is why i won't f*ck or date people my age or older...yea yea i know not everyone has this problem at 40 but too many do...and i just don't need someone getting me all worked up to then tell me they can't f*ck with a condom...
.....how f*cking stupid to be so careless at my age...uggghhhhhhhhh
..anyway after another hour or so i can't stand it anymore, talk to Master then i jump in the car and head down to the walk in clinic less than a minute from where i live wondering if it's a good idea to be going somewhere so close to home and thinking oh f*ck it i don't care...
.....it's not busy and i get right in....i tell the doc i've diagnosed myself with an STD...lol.....well i actually said i think i have an STD...he asks me why yada yada yada...tells me most STD's don't have many symptoms etc and he'll take a look...he asks when i was last tested...i tell him within the last month...ok so i'm kinda freakin paranoid about this stuff.......
.....we have to change rooms and he asks if i want a nurse there...hell i'm thinking i don't care just tell me what i got!!...so i tell him i don't care...
..as i sit there i'm thinking ok G*d if there is like anyway you can do something about this after i've already gone and f*cked up can you like do it please..
.....he comes back...i assume the position and he starts taking a look and he can't see a f*cking thing...???.....asks me to show him where...it was really quite funny....there i am on my back..legs in stirrups..spread wide and now i've got my hands down there spreading myself even more and trying to point to where it hurts the most....couldn't help but find it pretty damn humerous seeing as i'm doing this on cam all the time anyway...
..so he thinks he sees a scratch but nothing else..and i'm starting to think.....uh oh...i was using a dildo very recently, a dildo i've never used on myself, a pretty new dildo... and i'm not really used to using one anymore..when i masturbate i like to just use my fingers.....so unless someone else wants to f*ck me with one (and they tend to want to put it in my ass not my c*nt)...or i'm playing on cam i don't usually use a dildo.....oh or if i've gone a really long time without getting f*cked but that doesnt happen too often..
....anyway he indulges me and takes a culture but says i definately don't have herpes...pheeeew...thank you G*d
..so if you been wondering why i won't use a dildo on cam....well i've been too f*cking sore...and i only do it when i want to anyway......
.....i'm not going to be using that dildo again on myself..that's the pink one in the pics....i bought it as part of a strap on that i used on a little boy i was f*cking for awhile....(18yrs old-but that's a whole other story)..i used a condom on it when i was f*cking him in the ass with it and all that so it's not that it wasn't clean etc.....think it's either to do with what it's made of...and maybe i'm sensitive to it or i just went a bit overboard that night i was using on myself....
..something else that occurred to me after the fact as well.....i've been studying STDS at university...and you know that thing residents get when they are in med school?...i forget what it's called but it's where they start thinking they have just about every disease they study......well i think this coulda had something to do with what was going on for me....hell i didn't know that damn near 50% of the population has herpes till i read about it last month..i've f*cked at least 50 guys and most of those were in the last year....statistically someone had to have it..apparently not the 4 i didn't use a condom with though thank g*d....although you can get herpes even with using a condom and most people don't even know they have herpes amazingly enough..scary
.....how f*cking stupid to be so careless at my age...uggghhhhhhhhh
..anyway after another hour or so i can't stand it anymore, talk to Master then i jump in the car and head down to the walk in clinic less than a minute from where i live wondering if it's a good idea to be going somewhere so close to home and thinking oh f*ck it i don't care...
.....it's not busy and i get right in....i tell the doc i've diagnosed myself with an STD...lol.....well i actually said i think i have an STD...he asks me why yada yada yada...tells me most STD's don't have many symptoms etc and he'll take a look...he asks when i was last tested...i tell him within the last month...ok so i'm kinda freakin paranoid about this stuff.......

.....we have to change rooms and he asks if i want a nurse there...hell i'm thinking i don't care just tell me what i got!!...so i tell him i don't care...
..as i sit there i'm thinking ok G*d if there is like anyway you can do something about this after i've already gone and f*cked up can you like do it please..
.....he comes back...i assume the position and he starts taking a look and he can't see a f*cking thing...???.....asks me to show him where...it was really quite funny....there i am on my back..legs in stirrups..spread wide and now i've got my hands down there spreading myself even more and trying to point to where it hurts the most....couldn't help but find it pretty damn humerous seeing as i'm doing this on cam all the time anyway...
..so he thinks he sees a scratch but nothing else..and i'm starting to think.....uh oh...i was using a dildo very recently, a dildo i've never used on myself, a pretty new dildo... and i'm not really used to using one anymore..when i masturbate i like to just use my fingers.....so unless someone else wants to f*ck me with one (and they tend to want to put it in my ass not my c*nt)...or i'm playing on cam i don't usually use a dildo.....oh or if i've gone a really long time without getting f*cked but that doesnt happen too often..
....anyway he indulges me and takes a culture but says i definately don't have herpes...pheeeew...thank you G*d

..so if you been wondering why i won't use a dildo on cam....well i've been too f*cking sore...and i only do it when i want to anyway......
.....i'm not going to be using that dildo again on myself..that's the pink one in the pics....i bought it as part of a strap on that i used on a little boy i was f*cking for awhile....(18yrs old-but that's a whole other story)..i used a condom on it when i was f*cking him in the ass with it and all that so it's not that it wasn't clean etc.....think it's either to do with what it's made of...and maybe i'm sensitive to it or i just went a bit overboard that night i was using on myself....

..something else that occurred to me after the fact as well.....i've been studying STDS at university...and you know that thing residents get when they are in med school?...i forget what it's called but it's where they start thinking they have just about every disease they study......well i think this coulda had something to do with what was going on for me....hell i didn't know that damn near 50% of the population has herpes till i read about it last month..i've f*cked at least 50 guys and most of those were in the last year....statistically someone had to have it..apparently not the 4 i didn't use a condom with though thank g*d....although you can get herpes even with using a condom and most people don't even know they have herpes amazingly enough..scary
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home