...uni...it's all about ME... ;)

it is really freaky some of the course material i'm taking the last few months. some of it was on the particular autoimmune problem i have. some was on death and dying. G*d it's no wonder i've been f*cked up lately. i did a lot of thinking about when i thought i was going to die. all that studying on death and the stages and all that cr*p. f*ck i relate far too well to it all. that feeling of disengaging from things and people.

then there was the STD theory that i talked about before when i became obsessed with thinking i had herpes. that was a bit of a reality check. i use condoms 98% of the time and it would be 100% of the time if not for a few f*ckheads.

now i'm doing this whole section on depression, obsessive/compulsive disorders, eating disorders, sexual abuse, domestic violence, workplace violence and abuse, low self esteem, anger, . f*ck the last few months have been all about me. now there's a little demonstration of my self centeredness.

f*ck it basically sums up the last 5 yrs of my life. it really is no wonder i've been obsessing about exbf and just generally getting twisted.

i had no idea that one third of all nurses have a history of childhood physical abuse and sexual abuse. one or two Dom friends have mentioned to me that a high number of subs are involved in "helping" type professions.